What if you don’t get along with your boss?

Sometimes, the connection just isn’t there. You give your best effort, meet deadlines, yet tension with your boss lingers. A passive-aggressive email here, a raised eyebrow there, ... you feel like you're walking on eggshells. What can you do when you don’t get along with your boss? Here are some expert tips.

1. Identify the root of the problem

Before exhaustion or frustration takes over, take a step back. What exactly is wrong? Is it a communication issue, unclear expectations, or simply a personality mismatch? And let’s be honest – could your own attitude be part of the problem? Consider how you handle feedback, stress, and conflict.

2. Understand your boss’s communication style

Every manager has their own way of communicating. Some are straightforward, while others wrap their messages in complex corporate jargon. If your direct approach clashes with your boss’s more diplomatic style, try adapting your communication by phrasing your feedback in a more subtle way.

3. Open a dialogue (without complaining)

You don’t have to become best friends, but an honest conversation can work wonders. Instead of saying “You always…” or “You never listen…”, try “I feel like we sometimes struggle to understand each other. How can we improve this?” Keeping the conversation constructive prevents it from turning into a complaint.

4. Build a personal buffer

If direct communication doesn’t help, create a buffer for yourself. Expand your network within the company, seek support from colleagues, or even find a mentor. Sometimes, sharing your frustrations with someone who understands can make a big difference.

5. Know when it’s time to move on

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, the relationship just doesn’t work. If your job is making you unhappy, it might be time to explore other opportunities. In your next job search, don’t just focus on the position and salary—consider the company culture and your potential manager as well.

A better fit will increase your chances of feeling comfortable and valued in your next role.

What you should absolutely avoid

Letting frustration build up without addressing it can lead to explosive situations. Speaking negatively about your boss to colleagues can backfire, as gossip has a way of spreading. Likewise, adopting a passive-aggressive attitude – avoiding interactions or responding curtly – will only make things worse. And perhaps the biggest mistake of all: resigning on a whim without having a plan in place. Before making any drastic decisions, take the time to assess your situation and plan your next steps carefully. Always remember that a healthy professional environment is essential to your development! 

More information

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